I've been hired!

Jim says that as a believer in the new life that we have in Christ, we will never have another job, only another mission field. This is so freeing. Gone are the shackles of "... is this what I'm supposed to be doing?" or even feeling generally stuck in a job. In Christ, no position is more or less spiritual - only different avenues of serving and loving others - whether in a McDonald's flipping burgers or a swanky investment firm.

All that to say, we each have specific gifts, temperaments, and preferences. Personally, at the root of myself, I love to create, nurture, and maintain. That doesn't mean I'm good at it, but I keep returning to it. Practically, this has manifested itself in the education world: teaching children, loving them, and nurturing their endeavors in learning. I've always known, though, that I would one day want to focus this energy in my own home. My own domain. My own workspace. And I'm thrilled to say that, in this season at least, I'm able to be 100% at home.

I was thinking today about some different titles:

Stay-at-home-mom, Wife and Mother, Homemaker, Family Manager, Home Economist...

... and some funny ones:

Lady of Leisure, Domestic Goddess, or Professional Wiper of All Things.

After some thought, I think the term 'homemaker' is my choice. I know it's old-fashioned... and I promise I have no "all women should be Stepford wives and mothers at home" hill to die on. But the thought of making a home is so attractive to me. I'm not great at cooking or baking. I lack interior design skill. Cleaning is actually one of my favorite tasks, but I don't do it consistently.

But those are all surface ways to keep a home. I want to seek out the ways to help cultivate the family bonds that create stability and reassurance. Normalcy and balance. To make a home.

This is a much less tangible thing, I know. It's the vague, fuzzy feeling that you get when you smell your own house. You know what I mean - every family has their smell. Not necessarily stinky, just not your home. Even though my parents have moved twice since I left home, I can still capture the Craft family smell in their Florida home. And for those who have enjoyed a stable, loving, and caring home life, that smell can invoke peace and calm and even specific memories.

I can work on improving the surface maintenance of a home - not worried about that. And I enjoy it. It's the people in the house that I must daily (and then throughout the day) give over to our much more wise and capable God. Jim, James, and soon little Anna - that I can love them and serve them and encourage them... and discipline for the little ones.

And the other people in the house: the visitors, the stay-as-long-as-you-need-to-people... aaaand the don't-you-have-somewhere-else-to-go-people.

That's the hard part. That's the course that I will never fully master in my new field. Hospitality to the permanent and non-permanent people in our home. Jesus did it perfectly. I think I'll look to him.

I'm so excited about my new job and I have lots of ideas rolling around in my head. Physical house projects (kitchen, bathrooms, etc. remodel), the possibility of homeschooling, learning and mastering new and healthier recipes for my family, yard projects. It's my dream job and I'm ever so grateful to be hired.

Our morning discovery

Here I sit in the napping house. No more quiet singing or narrating emits from James' room. He's asleep. Wooden blocks are strewn on the rug, waiting for their next architectural destiny. His little size 8 shoes rest next to the front door; the morning wet and grass bits are dry now. We found a bright green cicada this morning, having just emerged from his exoskeleton. James' eyes were the size of saucers and he squatted, oh so slowly, to have a closer look.

"He's alive, Mommy?"

"Yea, he just climbed out of his old shell and now he has wings. Do you want to hold the shell?"

Backing up quickly, "No, no, no. I don't want to hold the shell."

"It's okay, buddy. It's not alive. The cicada bug is, but his shell won't move. Here, I'll hold it first."

He craned his neck closer but kept the rest of his little body away, ready to flee if that alien beetle shell moved even the tiniest bit. Then he reached out. Stroked the back of the shell. At the crunchy, papery sound he recoiled. But then looked at me, grinned, and stood straighter with confidence.

"I can hold it?"

"Of course - here, hold it very gently in your hand."

And then, after a long inspection, he said, "Yet's put it in the grass and go inside. Buh-skeetos are biting me."

Those darn buh-skeetos, ending our sweet moment. But I'm thankful for the gift of watching and discovering him, discovering something amazing for the first time. That doesn't get old.

  

So cool, right?

So here we are again!

My last post was almost exactly two whole years ago. Wow.

I tried blogging a little over here, but that didn't last too long. Although I did get a little creative writing done and that was fun.

So let's see. I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant with our baby girl (Anna Jubilee), James just turned 3, Jim started a new job as one of the pastors at our church, and I'm learning how to make a home. The latter is a dream recognized - to be home with my babies, full-time. I'm grateful to God who has allowed it!

Come hang out with me as I share the funnies, the sadness, and hopefully boast in my weaknesses, giving credit to the only Strength I have.

Here we are in Hollywood, a sweet babymoon indeed.

To my Rosetta Stone...

Today marks Jim's and my 4th wedding anniversary. Four years is barely a molecule part of a drop in the bucket. While I feel like we've just begun, I also wonder how I could know him any more closely.

(Although today he asked which I liked more: Pepsi or Coke and I said, "I like both, but probably Pepsi." To which he replied in disgust, "Who are you??")

I could list ad infinitum the wonderful things that I love about him, but I'll spare you...

Instead, just one.

He's in there, poring over his stacks of resources and writing his book. He's manipulating each of his thoughts so that they're the most clear and concise for the reader. He cares so deeply for his students. He cares so much for his family. For his son. For me. He cares enough to teach.

And right now, in this minute, that's what I love about him.

* * * * *

Here's an inscription we stumbled upon in the jacket of a used Greek New Testament. An intimate treasure. A glimpse of the gratitude that I have for Jim's gifts of intellect, insight, and the ability to convey them.

You are my Rosetta Stone

making the unintelligible understood

turning shapes into signposts

bringing order out of chaos

You have deciphered my confusion

Revealed his language

And we have filled the voids

with His presence

God be with you, Mary

Stuart

Chills, right??? Love you, my Babel.

Change.

He's so cute, isn't he?

I'm writing this from beneath the breeze of my parents' office ceiling fan in West Palm. Even on James' morning walk to the intercoastal waterway (only a block away!), we SWEAT. The Sunshine State is no joke in late July. And yet there's an ocean wind that makes it okay and reminds me that I'M IN THE TROPICS.

I knew it had been way overdue for an update when I realized he had turned thirteen months last week. It looks like the days of counting his month-age are dwindling. And wasn't there a time that I measured his life in weeks? Even days??

Jim is working away on his book in the other room; a rare opportunity that we have two screens to play on! I'm so proud of him. He's on Chapter 6 and the book is just getting better and better.

God has been shaping my heart into a different form lately. It was Mother's Day - about two months ago - when I felt like my affections and attention were being directed all too indiscriminately. On the day when my role was most defined, I felt completely lost and useless. It's kinda hard to explain.

In an effort to refine, I took myself off the grid. No Facebook status updates, only James updates on my blog, and an increased desire to fix my eyes on things above. Things of worth. I read David Platt's Radical: Taking back your faith from the American dream. I recommend it. Let me rephrase: Read it now.

Mentally processing through my upcoming job change has also dominated my prayers to God and my conversations with Jim. (I know he's tiring of it, but boy, is he ever a faithful friend). I needed a constant reassurance that this was the right thing to do. I had come to a place of peace when we were making the final decisions months ago, but "...you're being a bad mother..." was a frequent thought that had to be taken captive. This process has certainly been a time of strengthening my faith in my God, in my husband, and in the Church that surrounds us.

I never had the faintest clue that having a child could amplify and affect life decisions so much. Decisions used to be made based on my gain and comfort. I cowered in the truth that we are making decisions during a time called "formative years." Formative. Yikes.

Anyway, I just wanted to process through a little more and rest yet again in the reassuring structure of the Church. This room of the Church is a little cybery and less human, but knowing that you are reading and hopefully joining me in prayer through this transition is comfort.

So thank you.

Summer Update

A couple months ago, I began feeling like way too much of my brain and time and attention were directed toward our precious little white Mac. I've cut back a little. Nothing personal.

But here are a few updates:

Jim has been home for the summer and we've been spending a lot of quality family time together. It's been fabulous. We look super cheesy taking our tandem bike rides through the neighborhood with James in his new bike seat (OH, how he loves it!).

Jim has also been writing a book! I'm prouder than a peacock of this man. He'll give me sections to read (he's done about 4 chapters so far) and its beauty brings tears to my eyes. It's a very approachable investigation of the Bible as a cohesive story and why that's important. You'll just have to read it :)

I start a new job in the fall teaching at Jim's school. I'm thrilled about this, but it's definitely been a journey. I was more than content at my old job, but when I stumbled upon this listing and Jim and I began talking and praying through it, it began to seem more and more like something we should do. As I began the interview process, confirmations were practically slapping me in the face.

I'll be teaching small, multi-grade English classes in the school resource center. It's a perfect fit for us right now... BUT it's full-time. I wasn't ready for that part. I wasn't ready to leave James. He's still so young.

My heart is still grieving and wrestling with this but God is gracious to provide not only this job, but comfort and reassurance for me. The childcare that we will have in place is wonderful. A new friend whose husband also teaches at school keeps one other baby -- and get this: he's James' age -- in her home. We'll ride to school as a family, she will take James to her home, play, nap, eat lunch, etc., then bring him back to school at 3 pm. Plus, in this situation, Jim and I will both be home all summer and have all the same breaks!

I know it will be a huge adjustment, so please pray for me. James will be just fine; I'll be the wreck. I don't know what the future will look like (who does?) but I'm confident that this is the next chapter for us. And God is good.

I think that's about it for now. James is still very busy, pushing his carts and toys through the house. Not quite walking confidently yet, but we're in no rush.

James, at 12 months:

• took his first steps on the day before his birthday! He walked toward Jim while I was in the other room. All I heard was Jim gasping, each with increasing excitement, as James took 3 teetering steps. "oh. OH! OH!! Sweetie, he just walked!!" After that we spent about 20 minutes cheering him on to a few more steps. Since then, he has stuck to crawling. It's a lot more efficient for his very serious business of playing.
• is beginning to name objects. Ball = a low "doh"; hot = "hhhh-oT"; block = "bock"
• is very fluent in "da-da" language. Also, "Ooo ah, ooo ah" all the time ... still no consistent "mama" (he only said it for about a week). Oh, that will be a sweet day!
• points at everything with his little chubby finger. It's the cutest thing in the whole world.
• loves to flip things over and carefully inspect.
• gives very passionate, open-mouthed kisses :)
• had his first birthday party! He loved his chocolate cupcake with abandon and basked in all the love and attention from his family.
• will forever remain my sweet baby James...

Here are some short videos from his little party: