To my Rosetta Stone...

Today marks Jim's and my 4th wedding anniversary. Four years is barely a molecule part of a drop in the bucket. While I feel like we've just begun, I also wonder how I could know him any more closely.

(Although today he asked which I liked more: Pepsi or Coke and I said, "I like both, but probably Pepsi." To which he replied in disgust, "Who are you??")

I could list ad infinitum the wonderful things that I love about him, but I'll spare you...

Instead, just one.

He's in there, poring over his stacks of resources and writing his book. He's manipulating each of his thoughts so that they're the most clear and concise for the reader. He cares so deeply for his students. He cares so much for his family. For his son. For me. He cares enough to teach.

And right now, in this minute, that's what I love about him.

* * * * *

Here's an inscription we stumbled upon in the jacket of a used Greek New Testament. An intimate treasure. A glimpse of the gratitude that I have for Jim's gifts of intellect, insight, and the ability to convey them.

You are my Rosetta Stone

making the unintelligible understood

turning shapes into signposts

bringing order out of chaos

You have deciphered my confusion

Revealed his language

And we have filled the voids

with His presence

God be with you, Mary

Stuart

Chills, right??? Love you, my Babel.

Change.

He's so cute, isn't he?

I'm writing this from beneath the breeze of my parents' office ceiling fan in West Palm. Even on James' morning walk to the intercoastal waterway (only a block away!), we SWEAT. The Sunshine State is no joke in late July. And yet there's an ocean wind that makes it okay and reminds me that I'M IN THE TROPICS.

I knew it had been way overdue for an update when I realized he had turned thirteen months last week. It looks like the days of counting his month-age are dwindling. And wasn't there a time that I measured his life in weeks? Even days??

Jim is working away on his book in the other room; a rare opportunity that we have two screens to play on! I'm so proud of him. He's on Chapter 6 and the book is just getting better and better.

God has been shaping my heart into a different form lately. It was Mother's Day - about two months ago - when I felt like my affections and attention were being directed all too indiscriminately. On the day when my role was most defined, I felt completely lost and useless. It's kinda hard to explain.

In an effort to refine, I took myself off the grid. No Facebook status updates, only James updates on my blog, and an increased desire to fix my eyes on things above. Things of worth. I read David Platt's Radical: Taking back your faith from the American dream. I recommend it. Let me rephrase: Read it now.

Mentally processing through my upcoming job change has also dominated my prayers to God and my conversations with Jim. (I know he's tiring of it, but boy, is he ever a faithful friend). I needed a constant reassurance that this was the right thing to do. I had come to a place of peace when we were making the final decisions months ago, but "...you're being a bad mother..." was a frequent thought that had to be taken captive. This process has certainly been a time of strengthening my faith in my God, in my husband, and in the Church that surrounds us.

I never had the faintest clue that having a child could amplify and affect life decisions so much. Decisions used to be made based on my gain and comfort. I cowered in the truth that we are making decisions during a time called "formative years." Formative. Yikes.

Anyway, I just wanted to process through a little more and rest yet again in the reassuring structure of the Church. This room of the Church is a little cybery and less human, but knowing that you are reading and hopefully joining me in prayer through this transition is comfort.

So thank you.

Summer Update

A couple months ago, I began feeling like way too much of my brain and time and attention were directed toward our precious little white Mac. I've cut back a little. Nothing personal.

But here are a few updates:

Jim has been home for the summer and we've been spending a lot of quality family time together. It's been fabulous. We look super cheesy taking our tandem bike rides through the neighborhood with James in his new bike seat (OH, how he loves it!).

Jim has also been writing a book! I'm prouder than a peacock of this man. He'll give me sections to read (he's done about 4 chapters so far) and its beauty brings tears to my eyes. It's a very approachable investigation of the Bible as a cohesive story and why that's important. You'll just have to read it :)

I start a new job in the fall teaching at Jim's school. I'm thrilled about this, but it's definitely been a journey. I was more than content at my old job, but when I stumbled upon this listing and Jim and I began talking and praying through it, it began to seem more and more like something we should do. As I began the interview process, confirmations were practically slapping me in the face.

I'll be teaching small, multi-grade English classes in the school resource center. It's a perfect fit for us right now... BUT it's full-time. I wasn't ready for that part. I wasn't ready to leave James. He's still so young.

My heart is still grieving and wrestling with this but God is gracious to provide not only this job, but comfort and reassurance for me. The childcare that we will have in place is wonderful. A new friend whose husband also teaches at school keeps one other baby -- and get this: he's James' age -- in her home. We'll ride to school as a family, she will take James to her home, play, nap, eat lunch, etc., then bring him back to school at 3 pm. Plus, in this situation, Jim and I will both be home all summer and have all the same breaks!

I know it will be a huge adjustment, so please pray for me. James will be just fine; I'll be the wreck. I don't know what the future will look like (who does?) but I'm confident that this is the next chapter for us. And God is good.

I think that's about it for now. James is still very busy, pushing his carts and toys through the house. Not quite walking confidently yet, but we're in no rush.