Anyway, today all the lights in the house are off and James and I are being quiet and sleepy in the gray, moist light filtering through the mini blinds. I'm reveling in his soft "ooo's" and "aaaah's". He's added squeals lately, which I love, but I think today he's completely feelin' the rainy day snuggles.
A few minutes ago I put him down for a nap and blog surfed for a bit. Molly Piper (daughter-in-law to John Piper) suffered the stillbirth of their daughter about a year ago. Her blog is dedicated to the comfort and encouragement of grieving parents, along with a little day to day stuff. As I read through some of her archives, closer to the day of their daughter Felicity's death, my eyes and heart kept finding James asleep on the couch. Of course pretty soon my eyes were brimming and I was biting my cheeks so my crying wouldn't wake him up. I'm so thankful for this little soft person that I get to take care of. This little boy who is beginning to recognize Jim and me and seems to like us. Then I read a reader's comment who was lamenting the grab-bag "Bible bullets" that people somehow think are comforting:
I remember people saying to me “God has been so good to us b/c we didn’t have any infertility issues!”. I walked away going “WHAT??!!!!” If that is what makes God good, then we have some reevaluating to do! BUT, obviously, the point missing is that it’s NOT our circumstances that make God good – it’s HIS righteousness, holiness, unfailing love, compassion, etc – it’s HIM that makes HIM good! : ) I had to come to terms with that through some serious wrestling around and many tears!!! .... - Shawnda
I have been guilty of saying something like that very thing (not to a grieving mother, but just in my own heart or to Jim) - "I don't know why God allowed it to be so easy for us to get pregnant... it didn't have to be this way." Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for that. But I have also subconsciously listed that under "God-being-good-to-us". What's hard for me to grasp is that He'd still be good if all of our babies were stillborn.
Yea, I know. Easy for me to say.
4 comments:
Thank Sara for this. Really.
I love her blog - what a glory to God for her to share her heart the way she has. And you're right, it's easy to mix up God's goodness with good things happening to us.
Ok, so you probably never knew that I follow your blog...I am a CIU alum and also worked with Jim at Grace Church. I started following your blog through Amelia McNeilly's blog... Anyway, I can say as a couple who is struggling with infertility - Your post is so true. We never question God's goodness - While, infertility is incredibly painful and we have shed many tears, we need look no further than the Cross of Christ to know with absolutely certainty that God is SO GOOD! While struggling with infertility, I've found that I've never been more aware of this Truth because I've never had to "preach the Gospel" to myself as much as I have lately through my tears. Praise Him! :)
Sara,
What an awesome word. Thank you for sharing. I will have to write this one down...thanks for reminding us that He is faithful and good in ALL circumstances...it's so easy to forget that...
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