Don't worry. The irony hasn't escaped me.
My MacBook propped on my lap (obviously - I'm typing), iPhone to my right. They're both there if I need them. Whew!
If I need them. Need them. Need.
My friend David posted a link to this article the other day and I couldn't read past the second paragraph because it was already too close to home. The part about the "itchy feeling to check my phone and do the circuit"? Yea. Nice to meet you. That's me.
My particular circuit only contains a few: Facebook, blogs, email. But that's okay. I can stretch those three as loooong as I need.
Okay, so what to do? "All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful..." I Cor. 10:23. It's not bad to have these things in my home. I have been so incredibly encouraged, spurred on, and built up by other mama blogs and friends' great Facebook statuses. There is a place for these things. Parts are helpful.
But there are parts that are extremely hurtful. The same friend (boy, you've been on a roll, David!) said later, "Kids shouldn't have to grow up competing with a phone for their parents' attention."
That made me take a step back and think, "What will James remember about my time spent with him?" Hopefully it will be more memories of reading books and building block cities and playing outside than with my head and face glued to my dumb phone. Gotta make those little red notifications go away!! Right??
So this is me, ready to battle that itchy feeling to check the circuit. To combat it with questions like, "Is there something else that I can do with these moments? Is there another activity that would be more helpful - to me - to anyone?"
I only write when James is sleeping. I try to only have specific times in the day to "check my stuff." Keeping my phone in only one place in the house instead of my pocket helps immensely. And believe me, I fail all the time. Looking-real-quick-for-a-recipe can easily turn into a 20 minute photo-gallery-tour-of-someone-I-barely-know.
But it's worthy to press on.
My dad frequently reminded us, "Good, better, best; never let it rest." I don't know the origin of that quote, but it's so stinkin' true. Yes, it's good to read encouraging or funny things on Facebook. It's probably better to look at your 3 year old. And it's most likely best to hug him and talk to him and read him a book.
6 days ago
2 comments:
Sara,
This was really encouraging to read. I hesitated to post both of those things, mostly the picture, because 1) I struggle with being way too into my phone, and 2) because I didn't want to come across as judging others before I've judged myself. The irony of taking a picture of people on their phones with my phone, then uploading it to Instagram and Facebook with my phone, didn't escape me, either :) I did at least wait until I got home from the playground to post it, but I know the frustration I felt while we were at the playground over parents who ignore their kids probably distracted me from giving Micah my full attention there, too. The distraction never ends! I'm most amazed at how subtly I became engrossed in my phone, Facebook, Twitter, etc. It's a very gradual process, but one day you realize you can't do or eat or hear anything without thinking about how you can summarize it in 140 characters and you can't sit through a whole class (or even a whole red light!) without checking FB or Twitter. Like that guy said in the article, it's like you're not really present wherever you are bc you're completely unaware of what's going on around you. I've got a lot of thoughts on this issue and a lot I still need to process. Maybe I'll blog about it soon. I'm glad you posted this, and glad some of what I posted was helpful to you. It's something I still struggle with and pray I have increasing victory over. Here's to progress in parenting!!
-David
Yes!!! This is the reason I personally had to rid myself of Facebook. And it's been so good for my soul! :) (not to say that's what you have to do)
I can still get drawn into other things that distract my attention away from my kids. I think it's me trying to run away from being a mom for 5 minutes (ok, sometimes longer). I'm not fully engaged and purposefully and intentionally investing in my children. I'm not serving the Lord. So I run...to my phone. Or computer. Or texting. :)
In our world of technology I think this will always be a struggle. But kudos to you for trying to gain some control now!!
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