The Last Couple of Weeks

Wow. I feel like I've been picked up, thrown down, yelled at, and in the midst of everything fallen head over heels in love. What a weird, nutty roller coaster.

So here we go:

Labor and delivery were a blast. I did it sans drugs, but that doesn't matter. I'd definitely recommend Bradley Birth to anyone. Plus, God knew what I could handle.

The first day and a half of James' life in the hospital are a fuzzy dream. I remember bits and pieces and people that came to visit, but the clearest memory is obviously my son. Taking him all in. Studying his face, his fingers, toes, ears, hair, chin (oh, the chin...). I don't even remember nursing him that much. I just remember the sweet closeness that it brought. I also wouldn't say it was an immediate and complete bond at first sight, but more of a gradual ache that grew in the pit of my belly; a brand new, different kind of love. That beautiful ache grows every time I look at him.

The first night was restless to say the least. I tried not to check for his breathing every 4 minutes, and eventually my exhaustion took over. He slept and ate rhythmically the first few nights but then reality set in.

Nursing has been by far the hardest part for me. By the time he was 8 days old, I had already developed an infection. I got an antibiotic which has helped tremendously, but it's still pretty painful. Everyone keeps saying that it will get better - and it has already - but, honestly, I'm just ready for it to be "easy".

Now, the newest thing is James' lower gas pains [ yes this is what my blog has become :) ] After feedings, he'll burp just fine, fall asleep, and then 10-15 minutes later, urgent, high-pitched cries fill our small home. I actually don't mind the crying - but I do mind his pain. It's also cutting into his sleep time, which is no fun for anyone. We've started to try gripe water today and if that doesn't work, we may try Mylicon drops. Any suggestions are definitely welcome.

This probably sounds like a sob-post, and maybe it is a little. I won't lie and say that the baby blues haven't overwhelmed me at some points. I never knew it would be this hard. And we even have TONS of amazing, excellent help. Our parents and friends have been around right when we need them. I know that we have so much to be to be thankful for: a great labor and delivery experience, a healthy baby and mama, incredible support... I just have to be honest about what's difficult. And this is difficult.

But when it all comes down to it, I couldn't ever in a million years want to give him back or do anything differently. I love him so, so much - gassy tummy and all.

Ta Da!

I was going to post a long, detailed, girly birth story of how James came into the world. But my husband beat me to it. And his is perfect. And is probably a whole lot more to the point than mine would be :)

So go here and read about James' incredible journey into the world. It was awesome. We are praising God for a truly other worldly experience.

Just a Little Update...

Well, it's Wednesday night.  Jim, my parents, my friend Anna, and I just went and had a delicious pizza and calzone dinner at Barley's.  For the past three or four days I've had contractions on and off.  Some were a little annoying/painful but most have just been Braxton Hicks.  Nothing that's organizing...  and it's soooo frustrating.  At one point on Monday afternoon I had an hour of consistent contractions about 10 minutes apart but then they tapered off.  

Without going into too much detail, there have been other signs of eminent labor, but still nothing.  For whatever reason, it's just not time. 

I keep reminding myself that it's not even his due date.  But then, only 5% of women deliver on their actual date.  Plus, I'm almost completely effaced.

See, this is what happens in my head.  Analyze, analyze, talk myself out of it, pray, calm myself down, relax, analyze, analyze... repeat.  What else to do except go to bed.  Peaceful sleep will come and then, tomorrow, maybe my son.   

I'll Keep This Short.

Doctor visit this morning - 2 cm dilated, almost 100% effaced, 0 station, and a gorgeous anterior position.  Apparently, I also have a "very favorable cervix".  Why, thank you, Dr. Stafford.  :)  I'm a happy, happy mama.

Translation:  James could be here very, very soon!  BUT, he could also take his sweet time.  Never have I experienced such a lesson in trust and patience.  Good grief!  

In addition to finally having our sweet guy here with us, I'm also really looking forward to having so much of our family together.  What a blessed taste of heaven it will be - my heart is bursting!!  

An Unscheduled Ultrasound And Other Exciting Things

Let me take you back to my 34-week appointment with Dr. Stafford.  My mom was in town, so she was with me.  After measuring my abdomen, I saw Dr. Stafford type into my file (it's all electronic and fancy), "A little on the small side.  Will follow."   He apparently didn't find it significant enough to worry me about it, and didn't say anything.  And I've learned along the way to know that just because an abdomen measures small, it usually doesn't mean a thing.

Two weeks later, next appointment.  He measured me and didn't say anything again, so no worries.  

One week later.  (We're at weekly appointments now)  This time he measured me and said, "Well, it's probably no big deal, but your growth has sort of plateaued."  He told us that we'd probably find that I just carry small babies (which is great news for me), but that to rule out an under-nourishing placenta or low amniotic fluid, we should consider an ultrasound.  Knowing Jim's and my plans for birth, he warned us that getting this ultrasound could open the door for them to recommend early induction if in fact the fluid was low.  We asked him what he would do, and he said that it would probably be smart to get the ultrasound since this was my first baby and we didn't have any other pregnancies to compare.  We could worry about induction stuff later, if it even came to that.  We decided to have it done.

Even though Dr. Stafford said he wasn't worried about it, that James' heart rate was great, and that his movements were often and strong - I still felt my heart getting worked up and imagining the worst.  As soon as Jim and I got into the car, we prayed for peace and wisdom... and, boy, did it come!  We are surrounded by amazing friends and family that, instead of working up my tender worry, immediately turned to laying our concerns at the feet of Christ.  

Compared to other news and procedures pregnant mamas have to go through every day, this was really nothing.  I knew that James was moving around plenty and that he was most likely just fine.  

SO - Long story short, we went this morning for the ultrasound and everything WAS fine!  His fluid levels were low average, but not critical (FYI:  Amniotic fluid is supposed to gradually decrease, especially later in gestation.  The only danger comes if it gets too low, and the cord compresses).  His body measured at 37 and sometimes 38 weeks.  And they estimated his weight around 6 lbs. 10 oz. (this is an estimate, because there's really no way to measure his little fat rolls :)  Our relatively small pregnancy freak-out was quickly put at ease and we even got fast results... I don't know why God is so gracious to us.  But I'm thankful.       

A Glimpse Into My Future

Jim and I will probably never be this good, but we'll definitely be this silly. Thanks for sharing, Jed!

Growing Babies

My friend Beka built this raised garden for us.  I think it's so perfect - yellow and zucchini squash, cucumbers, tomatoes, and watermelon (pole beans are coming).  Just a small, low-maintenance, yummy garden.  And the little cute/scary gnome is the cherry tomato on top.

And, this, my friends, is the Grandaddy of all potted tomato plants.  It's ENORMOUS.  I can't wait to eat these tomatoes like apples with salt and pepper on them.  You think I'm joking...

I love coming out in the mornings to talk to and water my little plants.  I'm excited about the squash baby food I can make, too.  I'm SURE James will be thrilled, too.  Don't all kids adore squash??