I'm naturally a peacekeeper. Hear me - not a peaceMAKER (that's a much harder job). I am bent to do whatever it takes to maintain a peaceful environment around me. This, I know, can be detrimental to my insides and deceitful to those I love. So when people ask me what kind of birth I want to have, my stomach usually does a somersault because I know the reaction that sometimes comes when I tell them that I want to go "au naturale".
I've blogged about this before, but thought I'd revisit it as the D-Day approaches, because my heart is changing.... Not away from going naturally, but moving closer to it, actually.
For clarification's sake, these are NOT reasons that I want to have a natural birth:
- I'm a He-woman and want to prove it to everyone
- The Bible says epidurals and pain meds are wrong
- My husband is making me
- I don't want to damage my baby's psyche
- I think doctors and OBs are the devil and just want my money
These are closer to my reasons:
- I want to remember giving birth, even if it's painful.
- I want to be able to feel what I'm doing and be an active participant (walk around, etc.).
- I want to be able to heal more quickly after delivery so I can get to know James right away.
- I don't want to treat birth like a medical emergency, because it's not. I'm glad we'll be in a hospital, because emergencies can quickly arise, but it's not how I don't want to approach the event.
- Unfortunately, it is proven that when medical interventions begin, it's more likely that they will continue unnecessarily.
I guess it's my peacekeeper-ness that feels like I have to justify our decision. I'm listening when you say, "Ooooh, just wait till you feel that pain, you'll be hollerin' for the drugs!" I hear you telling me, "You won't have failed if you get an epidural." And I agree. But it helps me to write out these non-reasons and reasons for myself, too.
Jim and I have done our best to be prepared. Practicing all of our exercises, labor positions, and relaxation techniques, and most of all, praying our guts out that nothing crazy/scary happens to James or me in the process. We also know that all of these preparations can fly quickly out of the window and I am perfectly willing to be in the knowledgeable care of physicians whose hands are led by my Healer.
I'm also anxious to join the ranks of motherhood. No matter what the birth looked like, you're still a mother at the end of it all.
At least I don't want a psycho Scientology birth, like Katie Holmes...
12 comments:
I had an epidural, but it stopped working not too long after I had it. I'm not going to lie, it's painful, but it's also bearable. I had all of these images of unbearable pain when people would tell me how bad it hurts. Unfortuntaley, I had to have an Emergency C-Section because Bree was face up instead of face down, and she couldn't get pass my tail bone. I wish I could remember all of that, but they had to put me under. I hope everything runs smoothly for you, and I'm sure it will. I just wanted to assure you that it is painful, but it is definitely bearable.
If it makes you feel any better, I don't think you are crazy! I say go for it! Whatever your reasons, they are your reasons and it is your body! My mom did it 4 times naturally, and if it was that horrible, she would only have one child, not 4 of us. I'm praying for a safe delivery for you and Baby James.
I know how aggrevating it is when everybody and their mama gives their "2 cents" about pregnancy/labor/delivery. I seriously think that we should write a book of things NOT to say to a pregnant woman. Everybody told me I was CRAZY for not planning on having an epidural. Anyway, we will be praying for you as the time for little James to get here comes closer! I know you can do it and just remember at the end of it all, you will be a mama!
I'm proud of you for thinking through your reasons and being unified with Jim in your decision. I loved reading your post, and while I did have an epidural, I definitely respect anyone who chooses to go natural. Hope it's a beautiful experience for the three of you!
Are you INSANE!?
Just kidding. I, too, know what it's like to have those kinds of thoughts only to share them (when asked) and have someone say, "Are you crazy?" (I even had one friend say, "I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't try to talk you out of that.")
It's a new epidural slogan: Friends don't let friends give birth naturally.
The important thing is that you make a sound decision, based on all the information available to you (which I know you have), that you and Jim are on the same page (which you are), and that you lean on Someone Higher for your ultimate care (which you also are). So ... sounds like you've got your ducks in a row. :)
You can do it! It's defnitely bearable, if it wasn't then no one would be here! I had an awful migraine this weekend and the whole time I was screaming, "This is worse than labor, this is worse than labor!". I think it was...although my migraine was 10 hours and labor was 50. I'm so glad my epidural wore off so I could feel the amazing thing that is giving birth! It's totally the best thing ever...even though it hurts. I have this feeling you are going to do it! Yay!
You do whatever you want! You are the one who has grown this child in your belly and you have every right to deliver however you want! No one has the right to tell you what to do. I am glad God has given you the desire to want to experience natural birth! You are going to be such a great mommy!
Yay for natural birth... I wouldn't have had it any other way! It was wonderful, peaceful, nondramatic, special, and loving. It was the most painful, best experience of my life... and I can't wait to do it again. God has gifted us as women with a most unique and worthy attribute- giving life!!! It's amazing and awe-inspiring... I'm so glad you will be able to experience it soon!
hey, sarah:) i wonder why we as women are the most critical of each other...crazy huh considering what we all go through just being women, mothers, wives! i had both my babies sans meds and yes it was painful, but there were breaks to help me regain my composure for some of the time. those breaks make it possible to bear through it. it was such a joy to labor for my children...of course i say this afterwards, during no one would probably say that! you also get some crazy stories when you are under that kind of pain and process to share. it is also funny not just painful...so awkward delivering a baby:) i hope the best for you and i hope for you a good labor, pain and all, to cherish. remember even in this decision to give to yourself grace should things go differently for you. ithat time is temporary, but no matter the venue he arrives in, he will be here! boys are the best:)
julie mommy of 2 sweet boys
You are SO allowed to do whatever you want to an not have to justify it. You guys are going to do a great job no matter how that baby gets out!
People will always just share their opinions about...anything. I get crazy looks with my kids being so close and people say "oh honey, you have your hands full" or "did you MEAN to have them so close together?" and other phrases implying that I'm crazy for having our first 2 so close together. We LOVE our decision (and God's perfect timing) and we have no reason to justify our decisions.
It is your family and your childbirth and you are right, you're gonna be a mommy, regardless of the path that gets you there=)
I just saw that I posted under Josh=) That would have been kind of weird!HA!
Well, I certainly don't think you're crazy. I didn't want a C-section or an epidural so I went with the midwife. I ended up being transferred to the hospital anyway after laboring at home for 24 hours, and 4 at the birthing center. After 30 hours of excruciating pain Ethan was born. Though it was incredibly painful and at the end I didn't care what they did to get him out - I still wouldn't want an epidural for my second child. It's a great feeling after he's out to know you did everything you could to preserve your body and to keep him healthy. I hope all goes well with you. You can do it.
I agree with whoever said they should write a book about what NOT to say to pregnant women. Like: So, when are you going to have that baby? When you're 2 weeks overdue. sheesh.
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